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Originally Posted by AnnaBegins
I have a friend who is a t and he thinks I need to go on meds immediately to alleviate some of the depression issues. He's very pushy about this and is having a hard time taking no for answer.
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Regardless of what your friend thinks or how pushy he is, this is between you and your doctor. It concerns me that someone that is not a doctor is pushing you to go on meds. Doesn't matter if they work or not, it is not his place to tell you what to do at least not to the point where you clearly feel pressured by him. Makes me wonder how good this person is for you in the first place if he has that kind of power over you. Please, please stand up for yourself and do not let him be the one to make any life changing decisions
for you. I wasn't even going to respond to this post because I don't think the answer can be given here but i had to address this part that stood out for me.
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I brought it up with my t and he said meds are not altogether a bad idea, although he was quick to point out that they will not change the fact that I have to choose to work through this.
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Please do listen to this T and take it to heart. The thing is that meds may or may not work for you, they may not be right for your situation and ultimately it is not a "cure" for the problems and your goal should be to learn to work through it
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What I'm struggling to tell my t is that I am afraid to have any meds of any kind in the house. Both times I was involuntarily hospitalized, I ODed. I didn't have an active plan either of those times either - I just wanted to sleep and kept taking pills until I did. There's something irresistibly appealing to me about forcing myself to sleep by any means necessary because I'm not hurting so much when I'm unconscious to the world.
Not sure what to do here. Meds could actually help pull me out of the downward spiral I've been in, could alleviate the worst of the depression symptoms and set me on a healthier path where I feel like I have more choices. But I do not trust myself with meds in the house and going to the hospital is not an option - I would lose my job and that would probably send me right back down the spiral. 
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Well I can understand your fear about having meds in the house. You are being wise to consider this. Do make sure you let your T know about this because in either case it's something they should know. If you go on meds, the T should know so that they can keep a close eye on you, or in the other case, they could suggest staying away from them altogether. Either way it's better for them to know
I hope this helps, I wish you much luck in finding relief and peace *many hugs*
~S4