I wish I never shared my stupid thoughts in session yesterday. If I kept my mouth shut T wouldn't have known how stupid I am.

I shared some embarrassing private bad thoughts (such as men are bad and cannot be trusted). I told T I was aware that my thinking was wrong, but I wanted to share anyway.

In response, T went on about how I was too literal, too black or white, and went off on a tangent on how if a child says he hates his mom, it doesn't really mean he hates his mom.

I was hoping she could hear the feelings behind my words, and allow me to explain why I felt that way, instead of immediately correcting me. I felt myself getting sensitive and shut down. I didn't feel understood or heard.

I also felt so alone. I felt envious that T was one of those "normal people" who could have happy, loving relationships with men and she was looking down on me for my wrong feelings.

I am sure she meant well and wanted to make me aware of my misconceptions.

I will apologize next session for being stupid, and thank her for being nice and helpful even when I am stupid. If I feel brave, I will tell her how I felt last session. Usually my T is very good at listening. I blame myself, perhaps I didn't explain my thoughts clearly.

Thank you for being here.