[QUOTE=knowthyself9;3237561
The reason I thought I couldn't process this in therapy was that my partner doesn't want me to do therapy in the first place, that therapy was the cause of this argument, and that more therapy would be defying her wishes/cause more arguments. She won't go to couples with me...though perhaps I could push her to if I found a new, 3rd party T to talk with us.
[/QUOTE]

It doesn't sound to me like therapy was the cause of the argument at all. It sounds a lot more like the cause was your partner's almost crippling insecurity. She violated your privacy in a huge way, but is blaming you for your (very normal) connection with your therapist. I think this is definitely something you should work through with your therapist.