First...we both have mental health issues...both have been recently hospitalized for suicidal ideation...so neither of us are the most "stable" at this point.

However, I took her in - we agreed on a rent/utilities/transportation amounts she would pay. I do not live on a bus line, so I have had to transport her to appointments to work and back.

Next...I have two little boys - who live with me half time.

It's not working for me.
It's wearing me out -- taking her to lots of appointments, in the midst of my appointments, and my school. And her work. Maybe I am being selfish, but it's affecting me. Affecting my ability to be "present" like I want/need with my boys.

She is very fragile right now. I KNOW she will interpret it as me rejecting/abandoning her and not caring. But I do care. I really do.

However, I need to take care of myself and my family. She doesn't feel safe alone -- when I am gone for a long time, she self-destructs. That's a lot of responsibility to be put on a person. I am not her mother. I should not be in this caretaking position.

Also, she has not paid me as agreed. Yes, her hours at work were cut, and she was in the hospital a week. However, I still have rent, utilities to pay. I still have the expenses. She currently owes me over $600...and it goes up another $350 on the 1st.

I went to see my T today -- was gone like 2 hours, and she came along because she didn't want to "be alone" -- it's too much for me. Yes, she worries she is too much for people, and YES she IS too much for me...right now. I have to take care of me. And especially my boys.

I expect a disconnect notice from my electric any day now...because I haven't been able to pay. I have creditors that I haven't been able to pay either.

I can't support her financially. I am on food stamps to feed my boys. I can't afford to feed her too. I can't financially or emotionally handle it.

But I am afraid of how this is going to go. She's going to freak out and self-destruct. I fully expect that she will end up back in the hospital after I tell her she has to move.

But I also have to remember -- what she does...how she reacts...IS NOT my responsibility. My first responsibility is to my boys and to myself. And I have to do whats best for us. That may mean she ends up in a shelter for a while...unless another friend comes out of the woodwork to let her stay there. And it makes me feel horrible.

But what else can I do? It's not working for me. For my boys. And in some ways it's enabling her to be dependent on me. I feel taken advantage of.

Thanks for listening. Any advice/encouragement/suggestions would be appreciated.