I think about this everyday now, which probably means I need them more than ever.

I am a physician but I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until after a lot of erratic behavior got me kicked from residency. Now my medical education seems to have to value. I have tried getting a medical license - so I can at least say I am or was a licensed physician, but to no avail. Licensing boards cite either my past behavior or potentially future bad behavior.

I have missed my hypomania before. I always feel less driven. Now I miss my depression and want to feel like I am in a pit and cry and hit stuff, but all I get is a kind of numbness.

Just wondering.