Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama
I have had this issue come up a few times. It is very confusing to me. My H and I have been married 19 years. We don't get along so well. Recently during our discussions I have gotten very upset. I have cried. But that is not the issue. the issue is that my chest hurts from holding back tears, my eyes burn from holding back tears. My H has wanted to hold me, to give me an hug. I have told him no, you cannot hug me, it will only make me cry more. I know that it really would. I would loose all control. I would not be able to contain myself and keep my composure. My H takes it as a disapproval of him. I don't think it is though. I think it is a disapproval in general of the emotion.
Why do I do this. Why when I know that it is hindering our relationship do I not let my H comfort me. Or anyone else for that matter. It feels like an eternal fight, a fight to give in or a fight to avoid further pain. I am just confused and need to vent. Thank you for listening. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
|
I know how to choke back tears. I'd rather cry alone, than in the presence of another. I don't like bringing my emotions, to others.
Maybe, your H wants you to show your vulnerable side to him, not in an approval/disapproval way? Not sure.
Maybe, it sounds like you lack a wiliness to get there with him, as you mention that in your marriage, you don't get along that well? Why would showing emotional pain, bring more emotional pain???