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I don't want to live/be in pain VS I want to die, you are right there's a difference.
I'm not surprised it is an antibiotic that you need, my down cycles also coincided with my periods, and anti-depression, antipsychotic meds made it worse. Avoiding processed food and white sugar helped.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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