...to have someone whose house I could go to and feel loved.

I wish that I could go to someone's house and have dinner. Like, have someone cook me dinner. I don't ever cook for myself because it's just me, and it's way too much effort. I only have energy for short bursts. So I haven't eaten a nutritious home-cooked meal in...I don't know how long. Since probably Easter. It would even be nice to just go to someone's house and sit and have them bring me a cup of tea and talk to me.

Does this sound silly?

I spend so much time--all of my time when I'm not working--alone and not talking to anyone (unless I talk to my cats). I have a couple of people who will hang out with me if I ask them to, but don't really seek me out. I just want to matter to people, beyond my ability to do a good job at work. I don't want to feel like, if I disappeared tomorrow, people wouldn't really notice. But I truly think that's the reality.

I envy people who have even a little bit of a support system...