I have nobody to turn to either, nobody takes care of me, don't even remember a time when anyone did. While I do have a bf, I keep my "head stuff" separate from him (there are reasons for this) and I don't have a gf's couch I can randomly crawl up on and pour out my heart while she fixes me hot chocolate.

Every bpd blow out, every bp episode, I muddle through alone, and that loneliness only makes things worse.

I understand the heavy burden you carry and I'm realy sorry you experience it too