You're not disgusting, you're not slime, and you SHOULD be talking about this.
Trust 15 year old you, ok? Why would you have told the doctor you were raped, if you weren't?
If you remember how you felt, then you REMEMBER it.
You are NOT shameful. You are NOT bad. You have done NOTHING wrong.
I'm so, so, sorry that you had to live through that. And I am so very sorry that you're having to remember it and relive it right now.