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Syra · Aug 23, 2013, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I don't really get why I'm mad - I just am. I suppose I could have felt abandoned, but it seems very ridiculous to me that I should feel that way over a one week break, you know? I feel exasperated that I should have to start over again and that I haven't moved past all of this stuff. I am annoyed that I feel this way and guess I blame my T.

It felt like i went into session with a wall up and an attitude of "See? I don't need you, T. I'm doing fine all on my own." I seriously have been considering that maybe I don't need to continue. I've been fantasizing about telling T next time that I'm better and no longer need him. That I moved past stuff while he was gone and he is no longer needed. I want to tell him I'm done and quit while I'm ahead...

I imagine it sounds ridiculous to you to think she abandoned you. You KNOW she didn't and you are uncomfortable thinking you would feel something that you don't believe. Is that it?
And you feel like you shouldn't have to go over this again, and very annoyed at yourself. And you want to prove to her? yourself? you don't need her by quitting? I suspect if you didn't need her you wouldn't be so angry. But maybe that's not it. Maybe you just don't like not understanding? or don't accept that you feel this way? or something totally different.

I hear that it feels illogical. I haven't had this circumstance, but I've had others when my emotional reaction was TOTALLY out of whack to the circumstances. and I really hated accepting that that's true, but when I accepted the possibility that I had whacky feelings that weren't logical, I was better able to then address the issue. I don't know if that's what's going on for you or not. Maybe not. Just shared it in case it was helpful to hear that perspective.

To answr your first question, I think this kind of resonse is very typical.