I would get in to see your pdoc ASAP. If you're paying out of pocket, ask if he will take a delayed payment, that you need to see him because you're having suicidal thoughts. Be completely honest with him. It's the only way he can really help you. Your response to antidepressants is very suspect. Your anger when you take them could be a sign of AD-induced mania, which can be common in bipolar disorder. (Mania isn't always happy-go-lucky.) But only your pdoc can make that decision - people can have all sorts of reactions to different medications - but it would make me very suspicious.

As for whether or not other people get mixed states....there can be lots of different conditions that result in severe mood instability or mood mixing. To call it a "mixed state" is a term used in clarifying a bipolar mood state, much like the term "rapid cycling", though other conditions have moods that can change rapidly. But one needs the bipolar diagnosis first to technically have a "mixed state".

Semantics aside, the really important thing here is that you seem to be feeling out of control and are having thoughts of hurting yourself. Regardless of what your diagnosis is, this needs immediate attention. If you can't get in to see your doctor in a reasonable timeframe (like early next week), and your suicidal thoughts persist, then you really need to get yourself to an emergency room or psych eval center for your own safety. Of course, if things get worse over the weekend before you can even call your pdoc, get to an ER. Seriously. Don't mess with this. It just takes one little impulsive jerk of the wheel to cause a tragedy that could have been prevented.