I don't know what help I need. But I have a good T.

I haven't remembered anything about the actual occurrences. I've just stopped pushing the knowledge away. I keep trying to find reasons to disbelieve what I know. I think I have to stop doing that. None of the reasons have ever been convincing. I told myself it couldn't have happened because he's my dad so he wouldn't do that, because my periods would have started earlier than they did if I was being abused, because if I believe myself it must mean I want it to have happened.