Hello everyone, I'm LionLion. I'm 28 y/o female from Emerald City.

I've a Dx of bipolar II that was one of the reasons I was medically discharged from the military (along with right leg nerve damage). It wasn't until I read through my own mental health records (that I requested and conveniently forgot to give to the VA, since those guys lose more paperwork than you can shake a stick at) that I realized the first pdoc (a COL) had also Dx'd me with antisocial personality disorder, which he kept on the super down low as an attempt to save my military career. I have non-combat related PTSD that was crazy exacerbated by the military (more of what those people DID to me when in, the training was tops) and to this day hasn't really been treated as a "real" problem, even though it's an official Dx.

I've been on a ton of different meds, with limited success. Now I'm on Lithium, which terrifies me since it has a not-all-together good rep and I've heard horror stories about people trying to come off of it. I'm also on 450mg of buproprion, which for some reason my pdoc was giving me, straight, for a year, until I had the mother of all anxiety attacks.

I'm hoping to find some community, and a place to vent where I won't hear "get over it" or "why can't you just be better already?" I try really hard to keep myself "normal" around my friends and family, since I feel guilty as all hell if they catch me in a manic or depressed stage. I have mixed episodes most often and those can get pretty ugly.

I have a boyfriend who is understanding, as he grew up with a mother with unDx'd DID and raging alcoholism. I think sometimes he sees my mental instability as endearing compared to what he had to deal with.

Sorry for the novel Hi hi!