TR, I think the strength of response to your post is what you need to know about how we support and cherish you.

Something horrific happened to you, there is not even 0.00000000000000000001% of this is that is your fault. As has been said, people choose their behaviour and an adult certainly does. You were a child and all children are vulnerable.

You are amazing in talking about this. Never forget that and your strength will help you see the truth here.

Big Fluey love and hugs x