I go to sleep every night praying I don't wake up. When I wake I think of ways to kill myself. I've tried to commit suicide in 2010. I have 3 kids and have been married 10 yrs. Im not happy and haven't been for a long time. My kids and husband deserve a whole lot better than me. We live in a very small 2 bedroom apartment. Money has always been tight, but this is the worst its ever been for us. My husband works hard with little reward. I can't work due to childcare issues. Im a failure. Im 30 years old and haven't accomplished nothing. I tried college but quit twice. Everything I've tried to do I've quit. It's a lot easier saying what I want to do and really doing it. I don't try anymore. I've given up because every time I try I fail anyway. I've had jobs that I had to soon quit because of childcare issues. I hate being a mother. My 2 boys act like animals with me. As soon as I clean up they tear up. Im tired of life!! My daughter who is the oldest looks so sad and it's all my fault. I should've never had kids.