(((Liz))),

You "do" have a lot going on, too many negatives too. As far as the cataracts, well, in ten years the procedure will most likely be much better then it is now. The positive is that time may just be a huge advantage.

Now, with your work and the "us vs/ them". Well, it sounds to me that others are more threatened by "you" because you "have been the go to person" and they know you know your stuff, they are more worried about how well they will be accepted by this new manager. My guess is that these others feel "you have the power" so they are worried and "insecure". They already know you are a "good person" and very knowledgeable Liz, and the new manager will notice that too. Remember, none of them got picked for the position either and they probably don't even realize you may have wanted that position. Most likely the only reason you didn't get it is because they probably wanted someone that would not be wanting to retire anytime soon "and" someone that might "cost less" too. Often these decisions are made "not" because a person isn't worthy, but because a person is good where they are and other reasons that have nothing to do with "worthiness or unworthiness". For all you know you may not have been picked because they didn't want you overworked or stressed where they may lose you if they put you in this position. For all you know they may have even told this new manager that if he has questions, you are one to ask.

As far as your animals are concerned, you have to make up your mind that you "are" doing your best for them and they are all very "lucky" to have you. Every day you love and care for them and no animal could ask for more than that. Unfortunately, our pets do not live as long as we do and we have to think about doing our best to enjoy them and appreciate them for as long as they are with us.

I don't go to the animal forum very often because I get choked up inside. I am a huge animal lover myself, they are my babies, and I have lost many over the years and some I have lost because of the negligence of others, so I also tend to get angry.
I never could figure out what to do with that tbh.

I am glad that you decided to "open up and vent" too. You are a "smart woman" Liz and you "do" have opinions that I always consider and give me food for thought too.

It sounds like you are figuring out "why" you feel angry and triggered too. That's good Liz, you know where it is coming from instead of just being "angry". There is nothing wrong with being "angry" either, it is when we turn our anger inwards that is harmful and can lead to "depression".

Yes, you are a "good person" and yes, you have strength to you and are "worthy" too.
The most important person that needs to know that is "you" Liz. Not everyone is going to appreciate that the way you would like them to either, their loss, not yours, remember that "always".

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE