Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaBegins
I grabbed some help from wiki since they have a better definition than I can express:
"In a therapy context, transference refers to redirection of a patient's feelings for a significant person to the therapist. Transference is often manifested as an erotic attraction towards a therapist, but can be seen in many other forms such as rage, hatred, mistrust, parentification, extreme dependence, or even placing the therapist in a god-like or guru status."
The way I would define it, transference to me would be me falling in love with my T or expecting him to take the place of my father. Neither scenario would be good for either of us.
I'm trying to write him a letter today expressing all of this but I'm not sure when I'll be seeing him again. I had to cancel my upcoming session with him because I can't take any more time off work right now and the next week is one I usually skip because my responsibilities at work require me to work a tremendous amount of overtime once a month. Even if/when I do see him again, I dunno if I'll have the courage to give him the letter. I'm too afraid he'll laugh at me or tell me I'm being silly or have no reaction at all other than thanking me for being honest. I also feel like asking my T to care about me as a person is pathetic...what kind of horrible being has to ask for something like that? |
Ok, thanks for explaining. How do you know it's transference though? I mean, what if you actually develop romantic/erotic feelings for your therapist? How do you know if that's transference?
Good on you for writing a letter. I find writing much easier than talking though it's really scary to hand in what you've written. I wish I could give you some sort of advice but I don't really feel like I'm qualified to do so as I find similar situations difficult myself. I really hope it works out for you though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
Can you ask your therapist to break down your work into smaller more manageable bites? When I read your first post I felt overwhelmed at the thought of trying to apply new skills to every feeling and situation after only 4 sessions. (Maybe that's not what your T intended but that's what I took away from your post.)
It sounds like you're aching to be listened to. I'm not sure how you can get that patient non-judgemental listening while simultaneously being coached to retrain your thoughts and actions. (Because you're being judged on how well you're applying your new CBT skills.)
I'm not the hugest fan of CBT for myself but I appreciate miswimmy's perspective about it and definitely see a role for it in targeting certain symptoms. I'm not sure you can have it both ways though. At least not in 20 sessions.
What is your priority? Can you try out your CBT skills to manage one type of compulsion that you choose to target? Can you set aside a part of each session just to be heard and have your T promise not to jump in and tell you how to CBT your feelings away? Maybe?
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I think he said he actually wanted to start working on my social anxiety since that causes a huge amount of problems for me at university (and in life in general). Last session he started talking about compulsions as well though so I'm not sure what he intended. Just before leaving the last session he said something like "neutrino, I think that on your way home you should walk by the woman playing the guitar on the street and give her a small amount of money in front of the other people. Then you should step on all manholes [or whatever they're called in English] with
one foot and go to the store and buy that notebook you need. However, take the first/top notebook. Not the second or third one. The first one [I never take the first or top of anything I buy]." All I could think was "no no no no no, that'll result in everything feeling wrong" and then I left without stepping on the threshold as I walked out the door.
You're right. I'm aching to be listened to. No one has ever really taken the time to really listen to me and the things going on inside my head. No one has ever taken the time to understand me. I've never felt understood and I've always felt so different. Would a psychodynamic therapist listen to me more than a CBT therapist? I know I need to deal with my fears eventually but I don't know if now is the right time. I definitely need help
now, I just don't know if CBT is right for me at this precise moment in time.