I very much understand your questions. They are also my questions. I do not understand why I was born to my mother who abused me throughout my childhood, and my father who loved me but failed to protect me. I do not remember ever being hugged or kissed by my mother; I've felt rejection from her from the time I can remember.

However, God, for me even in childhood, was my safe sanctuary. He was my harbor from the storms of my family. He was my "home". I sensed His presence and his acceptance and his love from my earliest years. It seems to me that even as all chaos and he** surrounded me growing up, He was always present.

My mother was so cruel to me that I still can find no comfort in the scripture which tells me that God knitted me together in my mother's womb... I want to ask him why I was in that darn womb in the first place! I love having a God that allows me to question Him and who answers my questions, or otherwise reassures me. He gave me a couple answers: "Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up and adopt me as His child." " Yet You are He who took me out of the womb.. and made me hope and trust... Iwas cast upon You from my very birth; from my mother's womb You have been my God". That HAS been my experience. Spiritually, I have known God my whole life, even though I may have lacked information about Him... my heart... my spirit knew He was real and that He cared for me.

The other thing is what others have said before me: it is precisely because of my childhood and my life experiences that I am who I am today, healing into wholeness with a real understanding that evil exists and that goodness can triumph. I chose long ago NOT to be like my parents and focused my attention on trying to live a good life, for myself and for others. Doubt at all that I could have done that without the reassurance that I was loved.. that God loved me even when no one else did.

As someone else wrote, I will ALSO be asking this question of God in the end:
Why did innocennt children have to suffer at the hands of evil adults? ... and especially at the hands of adults that were supposed to love & cherish them.