The amount stuff you took is going to take days to clear your system so Yes feeling bad is par for the course . Since Ativan is a temptation for you ( numbing effect) why not make sure you have no way to get any besides your daily amount.

Benzios are a depressant so its kind of a catch 22 when taking then.. If your depressed and take them they are going to make you feel even worse.

But to go off them you need to be tapered off slowly.

You are in a pretty lousey situation all the way around , I so sorry .

Are you still seeing that T that seemed to be helpful?