I understand that feeling Which is usually why I like a strong man....I like the feeling of being under someone's wing and somewhat even control. But I guess then it would be easy not to take responsibility which is what I struggle with so badly.

Pls don't feel worthless, yes you are worthy, just as much as anyone else on this planet, what makes anyone better than or more worthy than you? Try and focus on the good things about yourself, which I know is near impossible when feeling worthless but you so aren't It's this thing called BPD that wants to make us feel like we are worthless. Don't listen to it, fight it, challenge it! bark right back at it and tell it, YES you worthy and are capable of making your own decisions. Look hard within yourself, see yourself and all the good you have