I think journaling has helped me a lot with insights...but it takes patience and committement to journal..I've been journaling for 4 yrs now most nights....and at times during the day when I've felt in crisis or panic mode...its about building a relationship with our cut off parts and that isn't an over night job...when that begins to happen the insights come...sometimes they may happen while I'm watching a prog...a part of me will hear something and out off the blue and something clicks in my mind...but unless we have some kind of contact with our split off parts nothing means nothing most times....

I was writing last night about the upcoming therapy break and the word "aloness" kept coming to mind...then I realised that aloness to me has meant a kind off death...and that its not that I am afraid that T won't be there after the break as I always thought the fear was...its actually that I fear my own death and inabilty to reach her...the anxiety in my stomach has always been around that and I never knew it before....I never knew at a deeper level that I have indeed survived my life and I am not dead nor alone...and I am not that helpless child I once was..I can reach people now and ask for what I need.....but only writing and writing until I felt I had nothing else to write could reach that buried knowledge...