I find that the first day (it doesn't have to be a day; just a length of time) I'm depressed, I don't feel unmotivated or even too sad, I just have a weight in my chest. And then after that, I lose motivation, start feeling sad, want to self-harm and then become suicidal. As things start lifting up, I become more motivated, have less urges to self-harm, my thoughts start speeding up and then I become super happy again.
Is it normal to have stages like this? Are the stages at the beginning and end not even considered depression?