Rainbowzz...

what a horrible thing to have experienced, i am sorry to hear this happened to you.

you are suddenly feeling the need to share this because you are now ready to deal with it, and clean your self of it. so firstly, well done for telling, i know it isnt easy doing this.

it, to me, sounds like rape. you made your intentions clear all the way along, and he took advantage of you. it doesnt matter that you two were fooling around, who doesnt? but it doesnt and shouldnt lead to sex all the time. you say he was 1 year younger than you, meaning his was 17 years old. at 17 the urge for sex is so strong, so he probably couldnt help himself and got carried away int he moment. of course, there is no excuse for he did, and it was entirely wrong.

it was bound to bring back previous memories, which i can only imagine as being unbearable. but you are a brave and strong person for dealing with this so well, and now is the time for you to deal with it once and for all.

did you ever consider going to the police about what happened...at the time i mean? as you didnt give consent, it is classed as rape, ao the police could have got him for that.

try not to let it get you down too much, you are doing well with this. and again, well done for finding the courage to share your story, i know it wasnt easy thing to do.

take care

simon