Hey everyone, I have no idea if this is the right place to put this because it seems to be mostly about alcohol.

I am not addicted, I don't think. Maybe it's denial. I don't know.

Anyways. I used to smoke weed a lot. My friends and whole social circle seemed to participate in it. I used to live in a major city in Canada.. and we had a dealer who delivered. It was amazing. But now I've moved back to my hometown.. which is really.. tiny. AND THERE IS NO WEED ANYWHERE HERE. And it's infuriating. I was already starting to cut back when I was in the city, but I liked that I could at least access it.

and now it's nowhere to be found! And this is making me want it EVEN MORE. It's like a game.

I likely know the anticipation of the drug is probably more pleasurable than the experience itself.. but I haven't had it in so long that I just think it will be amazing once I have some.

I'm dying. Okay.. I'm not. I just really, really want some. I have the house to myself and it would just be so nice to take full advantage of it! Smoke like I wanted without having anyone to ask what I'm doing or catch me doing it or think I'm acting strange or whatever.

I'm even kind of embarrassing myself asking people for some. maybe the embarassment is in my head.. because no one has said "wtf"? It's just.. ugh. *sigh*