You can dance naked infront on a guy fresh out of jail and it would still be rape. The instant you say no, it's rape, even if it's half way through. Don't blame yourself because someone else maniplated you... you were vulnarable and needed comfort, not sex. But somehow we feel that we have to give men certain things to receive comfort from them. Definately rape, no discussion.

Don't live your life with if's and maybe's... accept that it happened and thry to make peace wiith it, however hard it may be. But if you allow yourself to dwell on all the what iff's you just get yourself more down. Things happen, brutal cruel things happen to good people, believe me, I know, and we always want to place some of the responsibility on ourselves, but it was not your fault... you drew a line and he crossed it.

Easy words to say, but I'm not there yet either and I too still wonder about all the what iff's...