None of us asked for this. None of us deserve it. **** happens. It's up to you to live your life as best you can. Get a good therapist. You can try to cope without medication, but if you look around the forum, you'll see the wreckage of those who tried it and failed. Then again, there are a few who manage it. The alternative is to take the meds, work with your doctor to get them right, and understand that the side effects are still better than ruining your life or killing yourself.

Just my $.0.02.