Um. I don't know if this is a mental health issue or "I'm an incompetent human being" issue or even "I just want attention" issue.... Ha.
Yeah I feel like a jerk I have no idea how to discuss these things, sorry if I sound terrible....

Sometimes I find myself in these conversations- ok, hold up. The things I am talking about specifically aren't conversations. They are often embarrassments. I am cued by something in a conversation and introduce a long winded (evidently) esoteric notion to... whoever my audience is.

It is only at the point when no one responds to my excitement, or my "inquisitive prodding" for input... that I realize not everyone reads up on, say... the interictal personality syndrome, Geschwinds and how many artists with it tend to stick mainly to a range of tertiary colors (like Van Gogh for example).

So what happens is I often get a "what are you TALKING about, woman?", and feel extremely stupid for actually getting excited about something. And not just... Like oh that was silly.

I feel like an alien, and completely rejected.
Which is really a result of my own thought processes and my behaviors at this point, but it's starting to create an issue where all the effort I've done on things like joint attention is slowly starting to decay. Also, I feel disinclined to pursue things more and more. Because I just feel alienated by taking about brain stuff... or whatever. I don't know. Poor me the special little snowflake, right?

Anyway... anyone commiserate on this at all?
Am I just an idiot?

Should I go hide in my closet now?
Am I just being like, a complete jerk?
Possible...