I do not believe there are any "family" secrets. If it is about you, it is your secret. Talking about anyone else is not your material and not directly relevant to you.

My oldest brother was an active alcoholic when I was in my late-20's and started leaning on me instead of our parents for help because he thought our parents were mad at him. So, my stepmother would call me to find out what was happening; it was a very uncomfortable 3-way thing for awhile.

Anyway, at some point in the conversation between my stepmother and myself she told me how, when my brother was 14 (I was 5), he saved all his money over time and then hopped a bus to California (from Maryland). I was shocked, did not remember any absence from before and the story was very important, now; he had just hopped a train for California this time, drunk the whole way across and arrived in San Francisco with $12.38 in his pocket, called me and asked what he should do (he was in his late-30's). I asked my stepmother why it was the first time I was hearing about this and she pointed out that it was not my story. And it is true, while it made sense and was important now, there was no reason I should have been told about it when I was a child.

Your stories now are still yours but the "family" has lost its hold on them because that grouping is no longer important. Your parents or other "adults" are no longer in charge of protecting you or your siblings' or their own embarrassing "secrets" from outsiders, you are now in charge of yourself. What you experienced; saw, felt, heard, smelled, tasted, or thought is wholly yours now. If it is important now, it is yours, you are one of the adults trying to solve your problems.