you touched a raw nerve with the headcase comment. No one should label you like that. Everybody has had a love go wrong. If 50% of marriages end in divorce, what percentage of relationships fail. Do you see what I am trying to say? It isn't all about you. I like to think it is always about me, but it just is illogical. At my age now I am so grateful for each one of my failed relationships. it allowed me to start a whole new one. Just for fun try creating a character mock up, like you would if you were writing a novel, and design the guy you really want. It gave me a little fun hope when I was down and lonely. I even cut out magazine pictures of guy things I found appealing. I don't care if people call me a headcase, because frankly I do prefer to live in my head. There I am the safest from judgmental people. Sorry I rambled, I wish I could carry you through this phase to the other side. Hugs