@moxie

Great suggestions! I do lack the empathy to care about other people, though. Suicide doesn't bother me much now...

I just feel like I'm doomed. Like I've already set myself on a course for a bad ending so what's the point in sticking around? I'm just watching myself waiting to see the "train wreck" and can't pull my eyes away. I don't want to kill myself but I want someone to kill me or to take some action to actually change my path.