Ultimatum Time

He must work hard to do damage control. You are very empathetic and forgiving towards him. I grew up in a house like that. Have the courage to live the life you want to live.

Be it with you husband ( provided he gets the help he needs )
Or giving yourself and the kids a healthy home environment

He needs to sort himself out before he can be a good husband and father. Just like I had to: come to terms with the feelings of guilt and shame, get help, and show my loved ones that i am still the same person, a made bad decisions and I refused meds.

Holding on to hope - I am holding on with you. You have yourself to heal as well.

all my best wishes - good luck