Hi there...I'm new here and struggling with someone I started seeing about 7 weeks ago. I've been trying to deal with the issues on my own but I really have just no ability to tell whether I'm creating issues or if they're real and there's just a compatibility issue.

It started out ok, but my core beliefs were triggered very quickly with this guy. I kept my feelings hidden though and tried to deal with them alone. After a few weeks I was just finding it all too hard too cope with and felt too guilty about putting the issues on him as I'd started to show the cracks and so last week I ended it, telling him I didn't want to be a burden or a source of stress to him and I obviously wasn't ready to be involved with anyone. I told him I still wanted to be friends but my feelings for him are still quite deep and I've needed constant contact with him and I've felt sad when he hasn't been very attentive. He has kept quite flirtatious and seems to be trying to encourage me back into bed with him, even though I've explained that sex complicates things. I have major issues with sex and attachment (probably from being raped at 15).

I haven't told him that I have BPD, but I have told him bits and some symptoms. I have felt scared to go too in detail in case he abandons me, but I'm finding even this "friends" thing very difficult now because I think what I really want is to get back together and to have him accept me and try to meet my needs as he hasn't been this far. He doesn't do enough to let me know he cares and there are other things I would need him to do to make me feel respected and I'm really scared to ask for these things. I also hoped that keeping as "friends" would keep things light but I keep losing it and feeling really sad and looking for signs he cares. I get a strong feeling like he's only still talking to me because he wants sex.

The problem at the moment is that I think things are very tender right now...yesterday I became upset during IM conversation and was feeling invalidated so I told him I was feeling over sensitive and need to withdraw until I feel better. He then started being quite insensitive by suggesting sex would fix me and I blocked him as I was becoming quite distressed. I had no idea whether to make contact again but this evening I sent him a message apologising for cutting him off and explain that he was being insensitive and it was making things worse. I said he seems to be out of his depth with me and that it feels like he's trying to push me away...he signed on but he hasn't replied.

So I guess what I'm saying is I don't know what is best now. I don't know if I just try to leave it (as hard as that is for me). I can't stand being left hanging and not knowing how he's feeling...I feel like I need to say "goodbye" and assume he doesn't want to talk. I know he may be busy and then I worry that if I do that he will come back saying he can't drop everything to talk to me...I just need some confidence in what I'm doing because I have none right now and I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing no matter what. Any words of advice would be appreciated...