I want to help you, really I do. But you have to realize that you and your daughters are being abused by K and you are in danger. What if he gets drunk and drives with you and the girls in the truck? Who knows what could happen. And until HE gets help and therapy and joins an organization like AA and gets sober, AND sees a psychiatrist and takes his psych meds, AND sees a therapist regularly for treatment, nothing will ever ever EVER change. HE has to change, HE has to WANT to change or nothing ever will change.

I've been abused. I had two abusive marriages, the 2nd one worse than the first. The 2nd one was in jail and I supported him through it yada yada yada. I finally left when he threatened to kill me and I believed him. He really meant it. I ran to a woman's shelter, and disappeared from his life. I went to an 11 week support group for abused women TWICE and have had counseling from a therapist biweekly for 4 years, and I'm still not ok. I will probably never marry again, and I don't even want a boyfriend, unless some kind of miracle happens. And I don't believe in miracles any more.

You need to put you and your children first. You need to think about your kids and if they and you are SAFE.

This situation will never change and never end until HE admits he needs help and actually looks for it and gets it and accepts it.

YOU can do nothing.

I know, I've been there.

If you think my words are hard and cruel, well I've been there and done that and I will never never ever let someone abuse me or my kids again.

You have to look out for yourself and your kids, NUMBER ONE. You need help and support and Al Anon or a woman's support group can help you. If nothing else, get the advice of a good lawyer. I don't know where you live, but almost every place has lawyers who work pro bono (free). The Salvation Army provides pro bono lawyers where I live.

HE needs to take care of himself and his alcoholism and BP and whatever else. If he doesn't feel like doing it, that's HIS problem.

Please go to the library and get some books on co-dependency and domestic emotional abuse.

And if there's a forum here for alcoholics, maybe ask some people on there what they think.

Right now, YOU are the only good sane parent that your kids have. You need to put yourself and your kids first. I can't say this enough times. You need to put you and your kids first.

And I will honestly tell you that when I went to the woman's shelter and met good women who were psychologists and social workers and they told me that nothing nothing but nothing was my fault, I felt such relief that you can't even imagine. The support there was overwhelming and those women were so kind and caring that I cried. I had needed someone to care for so many years. And so do you and your kids.

I'm sorry I can't offer you tea and sympathy but you're in between a rock and a hard place and only hard words can help now. You need to get out. And just think, if you pack up and leave, it may be just the wake up call that K needs to start changing his ways. The courts will give you custody and child support and other financial supports, no problem. If you can't afford a lawyer, the court will appoint one for you. And if nothing else, there's always welfare. I spent a year on welfare after I left my 2nd husband, and I got my s**t together again enough to hold a job. And I was given an apartment in government housing where the rent is determined by your income. You need supports like that to get you and your daughters to a safe and secure place.

My best advice is to get out, and the sooner the better.

I send many many many hugs to you and your daughters. You need them.