The only thing you can control is how you respond to a stimulus whether it's a situation or a thought that comes to mind. You can decide how you want to respond. You can decide to go in an unhealthy direction or a healthy direction or somewhere in the middle. It's difficult to know what the healthy direction is sometimes! And you have to make that decision constantly to redirect your thoughts and emotions until it becomes a habit, which can take a long time.

I've been contented and even happy at times. Right now I'm having difficulty because school is starting tomorrow and I'm having anxiety about it. I have recurring nightmares about sleeping through classes and exams, forgetting to attend class, falling so far behind that I have to drop out. Granted, none of these things have ever happened, lol.

It's possible to feel better.