I think when it gets to the point where it is surfacing in your dreams and you are posting about it here, you are ready to explore this in therapy. I completely understand feeling like you are betraying people by talking. In my case, I fear someone from my past would find out (decades later, mind you) that I was starting to tell for the first time in therapy and they would "get me". So for me, I have had to build up a solid trust with my T that the therapy space is completely safe (now I've had to kind of speed up the trusting t process because I became consumed with memories, flashbacks, all sorts of things that just wouldn't stay buried any longer)