Those are huge emotions, thank you so much for sharing those with all of us that was really brave of you. I can identify with some of that, especially not being able to explain feelings and internalizing things. Trust me, being completely open with your T is worth it, stuffing things is really deadly. Getting all of that out in the open (for me at least) is so freeing and helps lessen the pain of it. I should talk though, I haven't been able to be completely honest with really anyone but the few times I have been able to be it makes such a difference. But that's all a part of the process of healing and the journey. Maybe take a copy of your post the next time you see your T to help break through the tip of the iceberg?

((Hugs))