ok, all I have are professionals, well and a 10 yr old brother...... the rest of my family is abusive and......... toxic I suppose I could say. I have this........ almost magnetic, hunger....... for wanting a father. someone ot hold me when i cry, a hug to come home to, a hand to hold, maybe osmoene to sit next tome until i fall asleep. someone to protect me, make me feel safe, special, be proud of me........

yes the two, private and professional did cross paths as one could easiuly have predicted. It ended up in developing into a mild to moderate obsession.......... but thats what you get when you put a needy desperate kid wanting a father into a program with only one male staff member and he happens to be a wonderful man and a great father. now, it's , well, it seems to be one of my more healthy relationships.

however, that nagging, pounding, splitting, piercing. deepper than deep need and pain for a father is still there.

i'm 23, but, no emotionally.......

i NEED a father, i need someone.........


I don't know hwat to do......

"don't kick the puppy" ~ j.e.p.