You should stop thinking the thoughts you have been thinking and focus on getting a better deal out of the divorce process (shared custody-wise and money-wise).

What does not ring true in the story is that you call her your best friend. A friend - let alone a BEST friend - is someone who is emotionally attuned to you. In your case, you perceived a slightest criticism as a big hurt, and thus suggested counseling, but she retorted with "all is fine why bother?", which showed that she was not attuned to you.

The threats to move out of state with the kids might be empty, but make sure you know your rights. You can probably veto her plan to move out of state with the kids. She does not seem to realize that you are the kids' father and you have legal rights.