I know it sounds like i'm catastrophising it and I am.. but that's not the issue. I have bipolar, its not going away, I will have ups and downs I can't control. And I just don't know if i'm up for a lifetime of this soul crushing.

When they talk of statistics on bipolar and suicide, I know why its high now. Somethin like 20% - 1 in 5 will kill ourselves.

What's the point of goign through these cycles that just return to crush you again?