Good morning! I have a long story (I'll try to only add the imp't. info), and would love some input into the issue of whether or not I may have BP. The shortest version I can come up with is this:

Originally I was dx with Dysthymic Disorder, DD, as I have been depressed for as long as I can remember (back to kindergarten and I am now in my early 40s). I can only remember a six month period in '96, and then a 12 mo. period in '11 where I didn't feel down 99% time.

I believe that I suffer from MDD (double depression?) and SAD - and can elaborate on the SAD if anyone needs clarification.

I have tried the following ADs - some several times: Prozac, Effexor, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Lexapro - and combinations of some. None have worked past 6 mos., and several have made me very agitated/irritable within the first week or two of taking them.

I was Dx with ADHD in '06 or '07 and have a Rx for Adderall - which I am not currently taking b/c of unrelated heart palpitations. I believe that it originally helped my focus, but eventually I didn't feel that it helped nearly as much.

Here's the imp't. part: in the fall of '10, I became highly agitated/irritated. Even sounds such as chewing made me want to crawl out of my skin. I believe that the entire "episode" started b/c of my issues with SAD. The year prior, we moved from a lat. of 37 deg. N. to a lat. of 49 deg. N., and daylight during the winter is so much shorter here. I was a wreck by the time I saw the p-doc in early Oct., and ended up on Lamictal and Klonopin (PRN). For the first time in my life I felt normal. No mood swings - just peaceful and calm. Sadly, that "normal feeling only lasted about a year - I feel that the Lamictal has "pooped out" just like the ADs did before. In the fall of '12 - and now '13 - I felt/feel the intense agitation and irritability again. I am still on Lamictal and now take .75 Klonopin each day. Throughout the past two years especially I also feel the agitation and irritability in waves. It's most of the time, but there are small pockets where I feel a bit better (but certainly not normal).

I have never been manic. I have never felt euphoric. But I have felt what I call agitated depression, which some call dysphoric mania. But is it possible that I am BP when my "cycles" simply seem to be cycles of depression, and depression with agitation??? TY so much if you read all of this and also if you have any suggestions.