So I'm sitting at my desk, enjoying my morning coffee (I know it's almost noon, I take a very loooong time to enjoy my coffee), and I stare at this framed photo sitting on my desk. I take a time to ponder it. I never really have photos around me. My parents weren't big on them, not that they didn't like them, just they didn't put much importance into having them.. and so I guess I kind of inherited that. This is one of the few framed photos I have. It was given to me because I was a part of this group that worked together to put a political event on for high school students all across the country to come to. I stare at it and I see me and all the other people's shining faces..

And then I realize. Why the hell have I kept this photo all these years? I don't even like anybody in it! I had a couple of people who I stayed friendly acquaintances with... but that's all. I really didn't like people in the group. I felt like I just couldn't understand them. I tried to get along with them, and so we all did get along, but I never felt like I could connect with them. I'm wondering why I even tried being a part of this group that I didn't even really enjoy..

Anybody else have experiences like that? What do you do with them? Do you leave them? Or do you feel like you have weird loyalty towards them or are worried what other people would think if you left so you stay a part of the group?

I also did this with another church youth group I was apart of. I experienced all of the above that I just mentioned. I realized I just hasn't into that HEY?! HOW ARE YOU DOING? JESUS, IS LIKE, TOTALLY AWESOME! YOU JUST PRAY THE ROSARY! kind of style of ministering.

In fact, I didn't even want to "evangelize" people. I don't like shoving my faith down other people's throats. I like other people coming to their own conclusions about life or whatever.. and hearing about those. Those are fascinating. It doesn't have to be the same as mine to be right.

Anyways... it was weird. This was a part of my life for some time.. at least a year... and it's odd to look back, have that cliche 20/20 hindsight and be like - why did I do that? I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences.. if you don't mind. And advice, maybe, on what to do when you realize you don't like the people you surround yourself with.