I've heard of other people saying they're addicted to the sadness. I know it is possible to recover (just as it is possible to recover from an addiction) I just don't want to. A part of me almost enjoys the sickness but there are parts of it I can't stand. I did not go out seeking to feel this way but now that I am this way I find it near enjoyable. It's sick and twisted and I didn't expect people to understand but i needed to say it.