Hi Harmacy,
I don't think your new friend meant any harm by mentioning it before going. Perhaps he/she was trying to be thoughtful to try to include you? Remind you that this offer to go out was still there. It's hard for me sometimes when I really like a friend and they don't include me in their plans. I realized I really want a best friend like I see other people have. My best friends have moved away or the new ones already have a best friend. It's like an empty spot in my life that I would like filled. I understand that people are going to not always include me, so I'll find other people to go out with to keep busy. Other times I isolate and they probably wonder why I don't want to do anything.

Maybe you could talk to new friend like, "Sorry if I seemed distant last week. I felt left out of the plans. I've had some problems with that group before and was not comfortable going out with everyone. I still like you. Can we get a coffee and chat?"

Or idk maybe it's not a friendship worth working at. But I've lost many friends over the years, and wish I would've maintained them. Good friends make my life much more enjoyable. Took me many years to relize I need to put in effort, keep contact or they fade away.

I had a little freak out recently because a woman I've become close friends with was not "liking" my pics posted on FB. I decided that she hated me and I hated her. But then the next day she did "like" a couple of my pics. So I analyzed my thought process and guess I overreacted. Glad I hadn't acted on my initial hurt feelings and Unfriended & blocked her. Not sure yet if I'll tell her some version story of what I went through. Don't want to scare her away yaknow?

We did an enneagram workshop together - and we are both 4's the Emotional Personality. Enneagram seems to be a pretty good topic with a new friend to see if they know their personality type. And a good opener if you're a 4 like me to say, "I'm all heart, sensitive, emotional - internalize & analyze everything.." Etc. I like it, it's helped me get to know people & open up in a "socially acceptable" way. (I hate rules and social acceptance! But I want friends.

I do hope you're doing ok. Did you decide to go to work? (I can't make it to work today. Hiding in bed)

So I'm trying to understand Splitting... I don't have a T right now, can't afford it with my kids T's & all other medical bills.

Can you guys explain Splitting more? And how to deal with it? Is it like black & white thinking? I think I do that.

Thanks