So many good questions here. Is it meant to be temporary? I think my T is fine with me seeing her for as long as I wish. I rarely see her these days, more on an as needed basis. It might stay like that. Also, must it be "OR", or could it be "AND", could it be my partner is someone I lean on for support and I also find other relationships to help me manage in life. And who am I supposed to talk to when me and my partner are having problems? If I confide in a friend, I'm revealing things my partner wants me to be confidential. To me a T seems a safer outlet.

Sorry I don't know how to multi-quote...

Favorite Jeans -- "If you decide you want to save your relationship, how could you go about building more intimacy with your partner? Of course she can't meet all your emotional needs but that's kind of a red herring. What she is saying is that she doesn't feel close enough to you and is jealous of the closeness you have with your T." - Yes, it is worth saving and yes I think you are exactly right in saying that she feels she wants more intimacy. Working on it... I don't think red herring is quite right, but I see your other points.

TippPatt-- I posted an update up thread a bit. Talking to my T helped me a lot. Because of that, I plan to continue speaking with her, as feels right to me. I do understand that my partner was acting out of what someone above termed "crippling insecurity"...I'm trying to work with her on creating more time for us, more intimacy in our relationship, etc. so that she won't feel so suspicious. I have done nothing to make her suspicious (if anything, it is her behavior that is more secretive/dishonest), and in the past she has gone through my things, so it's sort of more her behavior that needs to be examined, IMO. But I do understand the longing for intimacy and I'm not as angry anymore and am trying to work with her. Hopefully I don't get taken advantage of by being so forgiving...