Yes, I think I understand what you are saying. when my house is clean, I can keep it clean. When it's dirty, I don't know where to begin and feel helpless to get it clean, so I do nothing. Common sense would say, "Just start with something. Do a little bit each day and soon it will be clean." But I do nothing. It's like self-sabatoge.

Don't know what to suggest to help you. Maybe try self-affirmations: Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I'm OK. It's OK for me to play hockey or do something else I would enjoy. I'll worry about things later."