Thanks for all those who replied. I am so glad I am not alone in my thinking. HKlove, I am trying to go along with the treatment plan, but I can't seem to battle the depression. It drags me down, keeps me in bed, not wanting to go out into the world.

I wish I could battle this better. That I had the weapons to beat my mind at its own horrible game. This is my life we are dealing with and I just feel like I am losing. I even quit my job because I couldn't fight any more.

I just want to break free. Be normal. Go out and do things. Be a part of society. It doesn't seem like that is in the cards for me though. I feel like I am stuck here in "this" place of darkness.