I feel for you. Have three of my own. My only suggestion is this: do your very best to not blow in front of them. Leave the room and do it in private. If/when they're old enough to understand, tell them that you get angry fast and that it's nothing against them if you do. Don't directly blame them for your frustration and anger. I got to the point that I could say "I'm getting angry" and they'd lay off a bit. Just don't do anything you might regret. BPD is often passed down. We often treat our kids the way we were treated. We don't need to be raising the next generation of BPD's. Not trying to be harsh....just trying to make a point. Been there/done that, and it can be very, very hard.