I mostly have dogs, but I did have one cat that I dearly loved. I lost him to kidney failure at a fairly young age, But I still keep his picture around to remind of the wonderful being he was. I've lost many dogs through the years. Angel my oldest was 16 when she died. There were many others I had the gift of caring for while they were here on this earth. I loved everyone and mourned the loss of each one. I think it is good you are remembering the good times with them. And I'm glad you have the outside cats to give some comfort. I know you are hurting now, but as you said you will probably adopt again when you are ready. i know that's what I did and now I have two lovely furbabies both around age 13 so I cherish the years I have left with them. Wishing to you the best and enjoy your trip to Africa, big cats need love too.
Gayle