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Old Aug 26, 2013, 04:42 PM
correl/salvation correl/salvation is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: North-east England
Posts: 13
Okay, so I need some advice on how to cope when I get back to school.

I haven't been since June 25th after a suicide attempt.
Since then I've seen people from my school about eight times, and each time they've approached me and took the 'water' out of me. Every time I see someone from my school or anyone who bears even a slight resemblance to someone from there, my heart beats fast and my palms get sweaty. I try to walk away as quickly as I can, I don't want to be anywhere near them.
What I'm scared of is breaking down in school and having them laugh at me, I'm scared because they might know things about me or they might think they do and I'm scared of getting mocked. I'm also really scared of being scared.
I'd really like some advice on how to cope when I go back to school... should I ask my art teacher if I can stay in her room at the breaktimes? I can go without lunch. It doesn't bother me.
But then would that make me pathetic, for hiding? Would they laugh at me more? What do I do if they see me? Laugh at me? Insult me?
What do I do about walking home, when the streets are infested with people from my school?
I actually had the chance to change schools but I didn't take it. Should I have? There's people that hate me in the other school I could have went to, and the schools are 5 minutes apart. I can see people waiting for me whichever school I go to. My family have said if I have trouble at my current school I can move to the other one after six weeks, but I like my lessons and teachers at the school I'm at now - it's just my fellow pupils I dislike.
Any advice on what to do when I get back?
__________________
"i wash it down, just to block out all the sound. i never thought i'd be alone, well look at me now. sleepless nights, painful goodbyes. who the hell was i kidding? the room starts to spin, all alone and bleeding once again. can you help me make this end? there must be something to take the pain away and so there's nothing you can give me. it's probably better off that way. just forget, all i ever wanted was to forget. bloodshot eyes and a starless sky. who the hell are we kidding? you look so content, i guess the bright side hasn't found me yet. pull me out so i can catch my breath. i live my life in the shadows of the things i try to hide."
-scary kids scaring kids, the only medicine
Hugs from:
sonnenschein